Amber came for Thanksgiving, and my sister came and spent Christmas with me. She was blown away by new very short hair cut!

My health is doing well. So different from last summer. Yahoo!

My caretaking job is quite interesting. Have harvested fruit, fed the pig his evening meal, herded chickens back into their pen, done some light weeding, some housecleanning, canning, career counseling, job consulting, been a companion, interior designer, and other fun and interesting activities.

We have quite a close knit community on this farm, and look out for each other. You would think that living on a farm might be isolating. Not! 3 families on this property. Cindy's daughter said to me just before they left for their Christmas vacation "What would we do without you, Anna?" Cindy's daughters are delightful. Cindy and I have become quite good pals. She is thrilled to have the support.

My living facilities are quite rustic, but I quite love where I live. It is cozy, cute, and getting alone time might be one of my bigger challenges! Here is Cindy doing some gardening right outside my kitchen window. You can see other pictures of my place in the next blog dated Dec 16.

While the essence of me has not changed. Many behaviors and ways of looking at the world have changed. I can't imagine having let myself be adopted by families in the past, but now is quite normal. All it took was getting ill, losing income, letting go of pride, and accepting the generosity of others.

I'll be going back to work in January. I am well enough to do that. I'm looking forward to the exciting developments of 2010. My your new year be blessed with new illuminations, and may you be refreshed spirit, body and soul.

Christmas 2009

Remember when I used to do Christmas letters? My last entry was about Christmas 2008, and now it is Chrismas 2009. It was an extraordinary year. It's just that some of it was unpleasant. I feel as though my life is undergoing a major wonderful quantum leap forward. (This picture to the right was taken by my sister the day after my birthday Jul 30 - do I look like I was only out of the hospital 12 days?)

Photographs are included to give you a visual sense of my life. I went to my sister Susan's town for a birthday celebration. then there are some photos of where I live now.

January and February were the toughest months for me, because I got so scared about money when the economy just seized up. I had lots of interviews for work, but the world of employers were afraid to make a commitment. Found a wonderful place I wanted to work, they loved me, but were too afraid of what unknown shifts the economy would take, so chose not to hire anyone.

So I worried and fretted, found two short-term positions, worked hard, made a difference - a big difference, and then got sick.

In June, Amber, Debbie, and another of Amber's friends came over, packed up our apartment (of which we took most all the furniture and big stuff on to Goodwill - to not have storage costs). Debbie stored our personal belongings in her garage.

I am recovering from a flareup of ulcerative colitis - that eventually ended up with me being admitted into the hospital on an emergency in July. I had become severely dehydrated. So little fluid in my body that my poor heart was working so hard that it scared my doctor badly, so little oxygen in my blood that my mind had lost lots of ability to discern and even recognize that I was severely and critically ill. I tend to be strong and healthy most of the time, and I just never had been this ill. It turns out that I have been dangerously ill for some time.

After a week in the hospital, I was a different person. I lost most of my hair. The scariest part of this for me was that I got dangerously ill, and couldn't tell. Who knew that low oxygen levels in the body severely curtail one's thinking and discerning capacity? I knew I couldn't think well, and that it was hard to talk and write, but I just didn't know how dangerously ill I was.

The hospital experience was so powerful, because I received extraordinary care. Turns out this hospital is one of the top 10 in the country, and they have a miraculous team of people who really rally together to work with critically ill patients, get the job done, be very optimistic and upbeat. It gave to me to see such a powerful, hopeful system.

It may sound pretty awful, and in ways it was. Yet in another most powerful way, this has been a quantum leap time for me. My hope in humanity has been renewed. My ability to try to control my life and future was reduced to nothing, so pride has fallen away, and I am receiving these incredible gifts from the universe through none of my personal efforts.

During the month of May, Amber made the connection that she came out here to make. She has become a working student of a person who is a fabulous trainer, has five unbelievable horses that have competed at spectacular levels and Amber gets to ride and receive training for free. . Lisa (Amber's boss) has a ranch in Couer d' Alene Idaho, and moved all the horses back there after the show season in early August. Amber moved with them. I was invited along but chose to remain in state.

In September, my new friend Debbie helped me move to an alternative farm about a half hour north of Mount Vernon. It's rustic, charming, challenging, and soothing. I have a loft over the community room, and trade out doing different activities - including being a caretaker for the property - for my room. This is a photo of the community building, my loft is at the top.


The farm is one using the practices of sustainability and permaculture. Primarily we grow fruit and vegetables. On the property we have developed a community. We look out for each other, give each other rides, gather round a night time fire, watch the stars, commiserate on the weather, celebrate the sun breaks, give each other hugs, hold hands when Maria was taken to the hospital for a perforated colon, marvel at the resiliency and the miracle of the human body, when now she is home and recuperating very well. I walk out to the self-composting toilet, and see Maria and Chris sitting outside on their backstairs with their morning coffee. Baxter comes running to greet me with his toy frog in his mouth. This is the view out my front door.

Pickles the Pig loves to chase the chickens and they are all great friends. Whenever I go out to my car, Pickles comes out of her house to say hello. I've watched her grown from little to very big. Rocky the rooster was very henpecked for a long while, until Chris began letting all the chickens out to do some free range. Then Rocky puffed up and shepherded his brood of five rhode island red chickens and became very proud.

Cindy who owns the farm has invited me into her family and friends. I've gone to her church, a canning party where I met some other women who sing in a chorus. They invited me, and I had a blast singing away Sept through our concert in December. It was so cool. The chorus has lots of activists in it, and sings lots of peace songs.

I love the singing. My heart just lilts with joy.

This photo is taken from the deck off the sun room in the building in which I live.

I am so grateful to be alive, and since I just brushed by death a little bit, the gratitude and feeling of aliveness makes me sing inside.

As the illness subsided, and the wide-eyed demeanor of getting a whiff of eternity has become more subdued, I am not as electric with aliveness, but I want to continue celebrating and cherishing aliveness.

Amber has left the nest, is doing very well in another state, has just received a promotion in the non-profit agency where she is working parttime, and she loves her life. It was a shock to both she and I to part so quickly, but it is a gift to us both. I am finding out who I am other than being a parent and a providor.

This road trip has branched out to being a discovery channel. It continues to be an adventure.